Christmas Ornaments and Mountain Dew.

So, I was in the mood to take some pictures. However, I wasn't really sure of what considering all the snow melted, and all my nieces and nephews were probably busy. So, Christmas ornaments it was :-) Also, I like using my dad's camera whenever I get the chance too. Yep this evening has consists of drinking Mtn. Dew, eating some chips and guacamole dip, while watching some old school Crossing Jordon with my mom. While taking some pictures too. So yeah, enjoy the pics!

Oh American Girl, those were the days, ha.

I was so cute.

Penguin.

One of my mom's Christmas presents. It's our whole family :-)

Mom and me.

Yeah just so you know it's hard to take a pictures like this with a DSLR camera, ha.

Joy and Hardship.

So Christmas came and went. It was a pretty good Christmas over all, spending time with Koz’s family after church and then my family in the evening. However, it’s just been a long couple of weeks, and I try to be strong but it’s been showing that I’m not. The past couple of months have been full of lots of tears I’d say. Happen ones but of course sad ones as well. I think the tears started when my grandma past away almost exactly two months ago now. It was a hard week but there was so much going on that I don’t think it really ever hit me. My grandma went into the hospital after she had fallen and broke her hip. She seemed to be doing so well even for being on dialyses for her kidney failure for the past four years. Anyways, she went to the hospital and my parents and I went up to see her the day before her surgery, and she seemed the same grandma. We even were talked about my wedding because I was getting married in two weeks. She was really sad that she wasn’t going to be able to come now, but we just kinda laughed and told her she had a good excuse. And that we’d show her pictures after and video of it all, and even bring her her corsage after it was over. Well I had to go early that day because I had a wedding shower to go too. The next day I was busy with something so I didn’t go the hospital, but I went on Sunday. Sunday was the day she was going to be having her surgery, so my parents and I went after it was over. She wasn’t her normal self at all at first but after a while she realized it and things started to get better. We were all just sitting in the room reading the paper and talking some, when the nurses came in said that her blood pressure was low and wasn’t going up. Well in a few short minutes it seemed like everything changed for the worst. She started to not respond as much and the nurses came in to see if they could give her things that would help her get her blood pressure up. Well this was when I got kicked out of the room and sent to the hall way, however my parents both said they wanted to stay because they’re nurses and wanted to be there for my grandma. As I stood alone in the hall way, I could still hear everything; I could hear my mom telling my grandma over and over again how much she loved her. I knew she had died even before a nurse came and told me what had happen. I didn’t really know it was coming, if she was going to die it was more possible during her surgery, because she was an 89 woman after all. That week was hard with helping my mom making funeral arrangements along with wedding plans. My grandma had everything all picked out though, so that helped. She even had her florist picked out, who was the same one I was having for my wedding. My mom and I helped even find the clothes my grandma wanted to wear, which my mom told me were the same ones she wanted to wear to my wedding. Anyways, the funeral visitation was on Thursday and then the funeral was Friday afternoon, the same day Koz was coming home on his leave from his deployment. I don’t think I got that much sleep those couple days before the funeral and him coming home. It was so nice to see him though after everything, even if I couldn’t go get him from the airport. Him just being home helped the hurt and stress I was feeling from everything. But at the same time it was hard to get excited and be ready for a wedding when there was so much on my mind. And now my grandma’s house is all empty and there is a for sale sign in the lawn. It was hard to see the house empty after spending part of my summer there and also my childhood visiting my grandma’s. Anyways, I think having Koz home and then the wedding and being able to get away from everything helped. I mean actually being with Koz always makes me so happy and life seem easier. However, then he had to leave even though neither of us wanted him to go. And the holidays came, along with going out to Cali, and things were just busy. However, now things seem to have calmed down and everything has settled I think. And now is the time I’m actually reflecting on the fact that my grandma has passed away and I won’t see her till heaven. So, these past weeks or so have been rough in that way, thinking of my grandma. Along with getting married and having spent a week with him as my husband, just to let him go has been hurting a lot too. The first month is always the hardest after having Koz leave, but I know that’s just what he has to do. And I know he doesn’t want to leave me because he misses me just as much as I miss him, but that’s what he has to do, it’s his job. And I love him and am so proud of him, for putting up with everything he has too. Also for being strong enough to get through his deployment even when he has crappy days. I love him so much. Anyways, yeah it’s been a long month and I’m kinda glad it’s the end and an end of a year too. I ready for something new and fresh to help get past these coming months.

So much happens in a year.

So it has been brought to my attention that I have been lacking majorly in my blogging. Yes, thank you Britany Miller for bring it up ;-) It’s only been since like…July, wow, ha. Anyways, so a lot has happen since July that’s for sure. Summer went by pretty fast actually, which I’m thankful for because I was worried the summer was going to suck because Koz had left at the beginning. However I seemed to stay pretty busy with working at the Dahlem Center day camp for a few weeks, which was great as usual. Brit and I also got the chance to live at my to live at my grandma’s house for a couple of months, which now I’m really glad I got to do that for a few different reasons. Also I got to babysit for Koz’s niece and nephew which I also am thankful for getting that opportunity to spend time with them and make some gas money too. But yeah then Fall came, I actually didn’t go back to school because Koz and I decided that we would get married when he came home on his leave, which we found out during the summer would be in November. So I decided not to go to school so I could plan our wedding because of course he wasn’t going to be much help all the way in Afghanistan, ha. It was stressful at times that’s for sure especially because of military and not being able to plan really because of not knowing when things happen. But yeah we had a beautiful wedding in a barn while Koz was home on his leave. It happen to be the same day my sister and brother in law got married on. Anyways, everything when pretty smoothly that day, no major mess up, ha. We also got to go on a honeymoon for a few days because Koz had to go back. We went to West Palm Beach, FL and had a great time just being able to spend time just us and no one else. Being in the sun was pretty nice too ;-) But yeah the two weeks Koz was home for went by fast but it was great to be with him and actually normal couple. So yeah those two weeks flew by and now it’s already Christmas. My first Christmas away from the man I love, it’s going to be weird. But hopefully these next few months will go by quickly. Well I’m off to bed because it’s far to late and I’m still up. But I plan on trying to blog at least a week instead of a couple times a year, ha. Night.

Wow, yeah. I'm bad at blogging that's for sure, ha. It's been a while.

July 1st it is already. That's just crazy. I've been out of school and nothing going on really for two whole months so far. And yet lots seems to have happen. I love summer, that is for certain. I wish it was summer all the time. Well, everything started in May. May was fun month. Full of lots of happiness and some sadness too, but over all a good month. I got to celebrate my 21st birthday with Koz. My first birthday he got to actually be there with me for that happen to work out with his leave. God is good. So, that was full of happiness until he had to go back to Colorado. However, little did I know I would get to say goodbye to him again a couple weeks later as I last minute decided I would go see him right before he left. And I've decided I like Colorado alot, maybe it's because he was there but still, it's really nice there. I look forward to moving there in a little over a year. Life will be different and sometimes harder, but in general I'm ready for a change and to be with Koz. So that was my May. My birthday, Colorado, and Koz getting deployed. Kinda of a filled month if you ask me. I am thankful God has keep me busy and not given me time to dwell on things I have no control over. I am thankful that God has kept Koz safe so far and has a plan that is beyond what I ever could dream of. I am thankful for a loving and merciful God. So, next was June. I actually didn't do alot that month. Camping with my family for along the weekend was one of the few things I did. I am thankful and blessed with a wonderful family. A family that spends time with one and other and enjoys each others company. And a family that is growing to where there are little ones running around that sometimes we can't keep track of as much as we should, ha. June involved my trip to see Sarah and Dan, that was only suppose to last a long weekend, but ended up turning into a week and a half and a trip to the ER. Sarah having her gallbladder taken out and me helping watch the boys. And no matter how bad Asher would be sometimes, I would forget it when he would come and sit in my lap while watching a movie. Or when he would hug me or give me a kiss, just because. I love that little guy. June ended with one day getting ready for my training to be a Teacher's Assistant. I look forward for July to come and to start my day camp again for the third summer in a row. So, it's been an alright summer so far. I could go on and on about more things in detail but I'm falling asleep while I'm pausing between sentences, ha. So, I'm going to cut this shorter then I thought I would and get some sleep. I love the summer, that's plain and simple. I wish it was summer all the time and I could wear shorts and a t-shirt in the 70 degree sunny weather. And also without school to worry about and time to get online whenever Koz can be on and talk usually. Anyways, so yeah, goodnight and God bless.

-Em

The Sun and The Moon

Wasted time.
I can not say that I was ready for this.
But, when worlds collide,
And all that I have is all that I want.
The words seem to flow
And the thoughts they keep running.
And all that I have is yours.
All that I am is yours.
Ohh...

Painted skies.
I've seen so many that cannot compare,
To your ocean eyes.
The pictures you took
That cover your room,
And it was just like the sun
But more like the moon.
A light that can reach it all.
So now I'm branded for taking the fall.
Ohh...
So when you say forever,
Can't you see you've already captured me.

This beautiful sky was seen on top of a cold, snow covered sand dune, December 32, 2010, in Lundington, MI. Where I was freezing from the chilly wind but was the happiest girl had the prettiest ring on my finger from a man that loved me with all of his heart. When I think of this song, I think of this day and this picture and how the sky looked. I think of Michael Kozma singing to me in the car "Painted skies. I've seen so many that cannot compare,To your ocean eyes." and also finishing with "So when you say forever, Can't you see you've already captured me." All that I have is all that I want when I think about spending forever with him. I love my handsome fiancé so much.

Yeah Yeah I know.

Yeah I know it's been forever since I last posted and it was brought to my attention (Britany Miller, ha). Well what has happen since my last post. Well, I finished my Spring semester, which I did semi decent and i'm pretty glad about my grades over all. Just wished I would of figured this school thing out sooner. I mean I'm still at JCC, not really were I wanted to still be for school. I guess I wish I did better in school with grades and figuring out what I really wanted to go into for my major. Oh well, it's over now and all I can do is go forward and do better. Plus, now i'm pretty sure what I want to major in Elementary Education and minor in Early Childhood developmental maybe. Kinda funny how I didn't really think about teaching before, even though now whenever I tell people I'm going into education they aways say I was so good with kids. And that'll make a really good teacher, encouraging to hear for sure. Also, I'm thinking of transferring to Spring Arbor to finish my degree. Also, how I pretty much said I would never go there, and now i'm considering it. Life and change. Change can be good though and excited about the future.

I'm really excited for the future because the future means being Emily Kozma:) Yep, I get to marry my best friend soon, well soonish. The Army seems to put a little dent in when we'd want too, but it'll be alright. Besides in the mean time, I have this pretty rock on my finger and I can't helpbut smile every time I look down at it. I love that dork with all my heart. And I miss him so much I couldn't even begin to explain. But I love him soo much and I get to spend the rest of my life with him because he's my dork now:) I can't wait for that day I get to be Mrs. Koz, ha. Also, I get to see my fiancé in less then a month for 6 days, I can't wait.

So, life is changing. I'm becoming a teacher and getting married to an amazing man. I love life.